Aya!  Been far too long, and, like the last time I needed to kick-start myself into doing this, I’m just gonna fire off a quick gaming update.

I recently discovered a site which may be one of the greatest ideas ever for gamers (once it gets through it’s beta).  It’s called GamerDNA, and you can get to it at http://www.gamerdna.com.  Basically, it’s like a gaming-centric Twitter or Facebook, for gamers, by gamers.  Besides the whole social-networking aspect, to which I honestly don’t pay too much attention, one of the cooler things about the site is how it tracks your gaming habits.  If you game on an online-enabled console (with an online service that allows info-pulling, like Xbox 360 or Steam), the site can be set up to automatically grab what you’ve played recently from those sites.  With the recent upgrades to the Playstation Network and Sony’s PSN website, it should be able to accomplish this with PS3 pretty soon as well.  If you’re not using an online-enable console, then you’re relegated to entering in your gaming habits manually, but even that’s made really easy with a fairly intuitive search system.

When it comes right down to it, the site tracks your habits, letting the world, your friends, or just you, take a look at what you’re playing, and what you think of it.  It lets you write mini-reviews for games you’re playing, rate them on a scale of 1-5 stars, and add tags relating to why you enjoy the game, broken into convenient categories.  For example, when I finished playing Assassin’s Creed, the site took me to a section, and asked me to highlight six aspects of the game from specific categories (Categories like “Setting”, for which I chose Historical, “How It’s Played”, for which I chose Open-World and Free Running, and “Playing As”, for which I chose An Assassin), and once these “DNA” were filled out, it recommended other games to me based on my preferences.

Now, this is all super-cool, and it’s awesome to see something like this go very interactive and community based, instead of corporate (and often generic) comparisons, and personal ‘favorites lists’.  It’s like like Last.FM for gaming (a music system in a similar vein, again, if you haven’t used it, try it.  http://www.last.fm)   But by far, the best thing for an ADD gamer like myself is that it helps me to keep track of stuff I have on the go.  I now have a comprehensive list of the games I’m currently playing, as well as a comment section so I can track approximately where I am in them.

Now, instead of looking through save files on memory cards to determine what I still need to work on completing, I have a ‘task list’ of sorts on GDNA, a small digital bulletin board with progress, numbers, and goals for completion.  And man, it’s amazing how much it’s helped.  I’ve actually been finishing games, consecutively, for the first time in a *long* time.  It’s also helping me track what my progress is in individual games, so I can focus on getting rid of the ones that I’m further along in, in order to focus more on the ones that that further to go.  I find myself setting goals, like ‘Beat 1 game a week for 2 months’, and actually making that quota, just because all my loose ends are in a place that I can finally see and tie them up.

One other thing that’s really helping with my progress-o-meter is that I’m resisting the urge to pick up new ones.  One of my biggest problems (again, the whole ADD thing) is that I’ll get board, and pick up a new game when I’m only halfway through another one.  As a result, I’ll have more on the go, and just keep adding to the pile.  Part of the whole goal-setting thing is that I’ve decided I’m only picking up a new game if it’s the next one in a series.  Other than that, I’m topping out stuff I’m already working on/have worked on.  The list is quite extensive, and should keep me occupied for quite some time, especially when you factor in sequels, but as I continue killing off 1-shots, it’ll enable me to contribute more time to getting through said series.  By finishing Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows, I can put more time towards Dark Cloud (both one-shots).  By clocking out Resistance 2, I can push more time towards the Ratchet and Clank series, which I’m playing #3 of 8.  It’s a good system, and it feels much better to have it all laid out like that.

My 360 is acting up again, so I’m not doing too much with it right now, but I’m also trying to limit the amount of GOTG (Games on the Go) per system, and that seems to be helping as well, in terms of keeping my ADD in check.  Not like I don’t have enough systems to still make that a pretty large number, but again, I find that by placing these little glass walls in, it’s really upping my productivity (if that’s a word that can be applied to playing video games, I guess...)  It’s a lot easier to track stuff like this on the DS and PSP, since the games are all installed to the system (after a fashion), which basically means that when I beat it, I delete it, and then don’t replace it.  So as the list grows smaller, my sense of accomplishment grows, and as a result, my DNA grows as well, adding new reviews, views, and interests to my startlingly diverse DNA page.

I’m probably just going to get another 360 sometime in the next little while, as this whole repairing thing is starting to grate on me, and I may just break down and get a Jasper (if I can find one).  It’ll be a fun little search, but we’ll see what we can find.  Also, they started releasing PSN Network Cards in Canada, so I no longer have to jack credit cards in order to grab stuff off of PSN.  Honestly, there’s not *too* much that I want off of it, but it’s nice to have the option.  Flower has piqued my interest for a while, and I really want the MSG4 pack for LittleBigPlanet.  <.<  I know, it’s geeky... but PAINTBALL GUNS!!!  I’ll probably pick up one or two things in the next little while, but for now, I’m trying desperately to get through Kirby Super Star Ultra and Castlevania: Order of Eccelsia on DS, and those are essentially dominating my transit-based game time.

C:OOE, being the newest Castlevania game for DS, is *fiendishly* difficult, way more so than most of the previous incarnations, all of which have been all kinds of awesome in their own unique way.  But I’m definitely having a harder time with this one.  The difficulty curve tends to ramp up pretty intensely, the bosses are unforgiving, and the whole elemental weakness thing (which could be *totally* ignored in previous games) is now an essential part of your strategy when hitting a new area.  That said, it’s also a really fun game, with a lot of the depth and twisty-turning storyline that we’ve all come to expect from the handheld Castlevania games.  Despite getting my ass kicked numerous times, I keep going back for more, and I plan to have this guy rocked out by mid-week.

Kirby Super Star Ultra is, as you may have guessed, a remake of the fantastic Kirby Super Star released for the SNES back in the good old days of Mode 7-awesomeness and 32-bit graphics, back when you’d pick up a controller and play a game with a friend who was in the same room as you, tethered to a piece of gray plastic by a corded, non-ergonomic controller... and you had a damn good time!  It still retains all the beautiful cartoony graphics of the time, updated with a few new touch-based games and newly done CGI storyline sequences... but let’s face it, we’re playing Kirby ‘cause we wanna suck stuff up and gain it’s power.  Kirby Super Star Ultra is technically a collection of mini-games, 5 or 6 in all, that each play as a separate story.  It’s kinda nice to not have a huge, overbearing quest to worry about, and instead just have some quick jaunts out with our favorite puffball.  When I started typing this, I was almost done the game.  One more treasure to find in The Great Cave Offensive, and then just Milky Way Wishes, and we’re over.  Since playing on my way home, etc, I’ve found that I was wrong.  I thought I was close to beating it, and I was wrong.

Seems like this is where the Ultra part comes in.  When you beat all of the original Super Star Games, 4 more open up, requiring you to wrap those for a full completion.  I thought I was so close... But whatever.  I clocked out one of them already.  Now I have the Arena, and two more, currently unplayable areas.  Starting to get sick of Kirby now.  =p  I may have to move back to Eccelsia to continue this fix.  Or I could *finally* get through Brotherhood of the Blade on PSP.  <.<  Or finish Vile’s scenario in Maverick Hunter X.  Both valid points, but I really wanna get a couple of these suckers out of the way.  Ah well.  It’s the middle of my week, so I have gaming-in-transit to look forward to, before the hardcore console burnout of the weekend comes.

Goals for this week:
Castlevania: Order of Ecceslsia (DS)
Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade (PSP)

I realized that I am still a typical gay man because:

Missing a call from a family member still brings an onslaught of guilt.

The idea of checking my voicemail after missing a call from a family member fills me with trepidation.

A sense of malicious joy trickles through me when I realize I missed the call because I was having sex with my boyfriend at the time.

Now, the other side of the coin.  The reason I *don’t* like working in tech support is because I love learning.  And, conversely, I don’t like people who refuse to learn.  I basically have zero respect for anyone who’s not willing to put any effort into learning something, anything, that will make their life easier.

I understand that some people feel that they’re too stupid to learn some stuff.  They figure it’s above them, and that they’ll just get confused.  These people might be right, but y’know what?  You owe it to yourself to at least try and understand, ‘cause obviously this information affects your life in a very real way.  I know virtually nothing about cars, and I don’t really ever plan on owning one, but when Ed talks about his, I try to make an effort to understand, because although I know nothing about cars, and have no real desire to learn anything about them, they affect me.  And if I ever get a car, I’d like to have some inkling as to what’s happening underneath the hood.

I don’t understand people who think that this knowledge is beneath them.  Knowledge being above you?  That’s an inferiority complex, all you need is an ego boost.  Knowledge below you?  Superiority complex, and what you really need is a kick in the nuts.  If you think you don’t have time to understand the most basic parts of how something that you use every single day works, then you shouldn’t be using it.  It’s just lazy.

I don’t expect you to learn every facet of every tool you use on a day-to-day basis, and anything that’s severely technical but is essentially throw-away, like a microwave oven, is an exception.  But standard stuff like a DVD Player or a TV, or even the basics of a computer, stuff that’s used on a day-to-day basis... this stuff is essential.  It’s the stuff that causes you to freak out when it doesn’t work, makes you call a tech support line and rant that you don’t know what the device is doing... and the stuff that makes you feel really dumb when the technician on the line makes you fix it by doing something simple, like turning it off and on, or plugging in a cable.

As humans, we’re gifted with the ability to learn from our experiences, to be able to take knowledge we’ve gleaned from the past and apply it to our current situation... so USE IT!  It drives me crazy when people call in about the same thing eight times in a month.  When we stress that this is the most important part, and it’s the easiest instruction, write it down!  Make sure you remember it.  I know that I, personally, always feel like a total drooling moron when I have to call tech support.  Calling Support, for me, is like giving up.  And as a general rule, no-one *likes* calling tech support.  So when they tell you “Just change your TV to channel 3”, and everything works, don’t you feel like a total moron for not having figured that out?  And don’t you feel lazy for not even having tried to figure that out?

The technology industry has taken leaps and bounds to make everything more accessible to the average user.  When we transitioned from coaxial cable (one plug, plug in here) to RCA (three plugs), we brought in color-coding to remove the mystery.  Yellow to yellow, red to red, white to white.  It’s essentially idiot-proof, but somehow people still manage to muck it up all the time.  As we get more advanced, in technology, we continue to try and find ways to dummy-proof the technology.  This can take the form of color coding, or the ultimate in idiot proofing, making the plug only fit into one place.  But still, people refuse to learn the way it works.

The unfortunate part of technology is that whatever happens there is so cool that everyone wants to get on board, but then doesn’t know what to do when they’re there.  It’s like hopping a plane to a foreign country, but remembering that you don’t know anything about it when you get there.  And then expecting everyone in this foreign country to make the effort to understand *you*, but not making the slightest attempt to understand them, when you’re in their country.

I deal with these people all the time.  Ones who are calling in because they have problems with their TV, and it’s something ridiculously simple.  Turn your TV to channel 3.  Plug in that white cord.  Put your TV on the proper input.  And they rebuke.  They dig in their heels, refusing to be pushed, pulled, or bullied away from ignorance island, a magical place where all your learning stopped at high school and you never have to evolve as a human being.  “I can’t, I can’t!” they say.

“Ma’am, have you ever plugged in a power cord before?”

“NO!”

“You’ve never plugged in a single power cord in your whole life.  Not a lamp, not a hair dryer, not even a coffeepot?”

“Well, I suppose I have...”

“Well, it’s the same thing.  I just need you to plug that cord into a socket.”

“But I can’t!  Can’t you send a technician out to do it?”

It amazes me that some people are willing to pay 25 bucks to have someone come out to their house and plug in a cord.  It almost makes me want to drop my job, my career, and just start working freelance.  I could never do it, ‘cause I’m too nice to charge for my tech stuff, but man, the money that could be made is astronomical.

In any case, those people drive me crazy.  However, those that drive me significantly crazier are the people I dubbed ‘Geniuses’ back at CWay.

Geniuses are people who, by some strange twist of fate, managed to figure out how to use enough technology to Google something.  After the swarm of information assaults them, they manage to absorb just enough to have an incredibly jilted idea of what’s happening, and then proceed to call tech support, “armed” with their new information.

These people also drive me nuts, ‘cause they seem to have the ability to learn, but they are lacking a very important part of the learning process; the ability to discern fact from opinion.  They hit two webpages, see two similar things, and immediately believe that this is the main cause of their problem.  They’re unable to distill truth from propaganda, and that’s a human trait that has been hard-won in the last 100 years or so.

There are a few obvious marks that these people bear.  The most common one is that they preface all conversation with a badge of honor, proof that they know exactly what they’re talking about and that they probably know more than you.  These statements can include, “I’ve been a programmer for 10 years”, “I’m a licensed electrician”, or my personal favorite, “That’s DOCTOR <last name>, thank you.”  As if having your GP or PhD means that you know SFA about Windows.

These people also like to drop expressions at the beginning of sentences to prove that they know what they’re talking about.  These expressions include, but are not limited to “Y’know”, “Obviously”, and “Without a doubt”.  No, I don’t know, it’s not obvious, and all there is at this point is doubt.  That’s why you’re on the phone with me.

By calling into a technical support line, you are freely admitting that you don’t know what’s going on, and that you need some help to fix it.  So don’t bog us down with your superiority complex, just answer our questions and let us help you.  It really is in our best interests to keep you happy, because anyone who’s ever worked in customer service knows that happy customers are easy customers.

In call centers, employees always complain about ‘stupid customers’, and on the other side of the line, customers always complain about people in call centers.  I think that some mutual understanding needs to be spread, but both sides need to give a little slack to the other.  Whenever I call a call center for anything, I try to be as nice as I possibly can be, ‘cause I know it’s not all sunshine and lollipops on that side of the phone.

And I’m always, always, willing to learn.

Anyways, almost done at work, and about time, too.  Packing up to head home, and I’ll catch y’all later!

Kirk Sabre

I admit... I’m a total knowledge-whore.  If there’s one thing that I absolutely love doing, above all else, it’s learning.  Which is why I think Wikipedia is one of the best things to ever happen to the world.  Buddy should win a Nobel Prize for the very idea of it.

Anyways, the reason I love learning?  Because the best feeling in the world, for me, is figuring something out.  On my own.  I’ll prowl the internet for days, ask questions, prod websites, check out similar issues, all in the pursuit of finding the solution to my particular problem.  There’s no greater feeling for me than being able to be like, “Yea, I did that.  I figured it out.  By myself.  ‘Cause I’m a genius.”

At CWay, I actually had the ‘I’m a genius’ dance (ask my co-workers, they know).  It’s part of the reason that I like working in tech support, because I love figuring out problems.  Basically, I love the ego boost it gives me when I’m re-assured of my own intelligence.  I think that most people get that when they do something that they know they’re good at.

The joy of working in tech support, however, is that I get a double-boost.  Not only am I all happy that I figured out what the problem was, I also have a happy customer on my phone who thinks I’m made of pure awesome for fixing their problem (usually).  It’s like an external ego boost, to add to my internal one.

Some people are just like that, I guess.  We like to figure out what the problem is.  If we fucked it up, then dammit, we’re going to fix it.  And if we know the functionality, the potential, the *option* is there, we wanna know how to use it!  And we’re gonna figure it out, even if it’s not in the manual.

My best friend’s dad is like that, according to my best friend’s mom.  She once told me that if he wants to do something, he’ll read about it, pour through the internet for information, graph the hell out of it, and then get it done.  That’s kinda what I’m like, except for all the graphing.  =p  But in my opinion, if I can’t figure out how to do it, then I obviously don’t deserve that functionality.

I bought a new TV a while ago, and I loves me some new TVs.  In particular, I bought a new HD LCD TV, ‘cause I enjoy clarity and brilliance in my picture.  It was like showing my best friend DVD for the first time again.  Dragging my PS2 over to her house, and popping Fellowship of the Ring in the drive (a movie that we both had basically memorized), and just hearing her freak out about how good it looked (“You can see the individual hairs in his BEARD!  Look at the detail in the smoke!  Mom, we need one of these things!”).  That’s the HD thing, to me, and to most people, honestly.

In any case, I know as well as anyone that if you throw a DVD onto a big screen LCD, it’s gonna look a bit blurry.  That’s life.  Anyone who’s ever used a projection screen, or blown up a photograph (either a real one, or just used zoom on a PC) knows that when you take an image and make it bigger, you lose detail.  It’s the rules of life (or physics, or something... I dunno).  But regardless, although my DVD’s look pretty good on my PS2, there’s a few fundamental changes I could make to make them look better.

For starters, I could set my system to display stuff in 16:9 (aka, widescreen resolution), so that I don’t get the letterboxing on my widescreen TV.  It doesn’t look ‘distorted’, per se, but with a widescreen TV, why the hell do I need black bars to help simulate a widescreen experience?

The other thing is blurring.  Traditionally, up until 10 years ago (ish), all TV’s used what was called ‘interlacing’ to display movement.  Interlacing is... well, your TV screen is divided up into 480 lines.  Now, divide these lines into two groups, A and B.  Odd-numbered lines are A’s, even-numbered lines are B’s.  Picture is broadcasted by showing one picture, composed of all A lines, then another picture of all B lines, back to back really quickly.  About 15 of each every second, to make about 30 frames a second.  It’s called ‘interlacing’, and obviously it’s not perfect, ‘cause you’re really only getting half of a picture updating.  But it means that a TV station or video only has to broadcast 30 halves, instead of 30 wholes, which is much easier.

Years ago, TV’s started bringing in what was called ‘progressive scan’.  Progressive scan showed 30 full frames a second, instead of 30 half-frames, meaning clarity went waaaaay up.  It was showing TV in the same way that film in a theatre worked, with pictures flashing by back-to-back, like the flipbook animations you made in school as a kid.  Y’know, draw the stickman here, and then to the left a bit, and then to the left a bit more, and keep going, and eventually, when you flip through the whole thing, it looks like he moves across the page.

So yea, progressive scan = less blurry picture.  And widescreen resolution = less distortion (and full screen video).  And do you think I can find a way to use either one of these things on my PS2?  I don’t think so.

There’s an option in the menu to turn on 16:9, and turn on progressive.  Can I change them?  No.  So I try *everything*.  Different movies, different formats, different regions, different cables, from left to right to upside down, trying to get this one little option to let me change it.

Finally, I get the internet involved.  The ultimate weapon, Google.  And still, after 3 hours of off-and-on searching through forums galore, I get nothing.  People giving me the same instructions over and over again, which don’t seem to work.  Again, I try getting creative on my end, along with a little power push with some hacking tools that I grabbed off the net.  Still, no beans.

Finally, sitting on my floor defeated, I get a brain-flash.  They said to press this button to get to this menu... what if I press it *twice*?  Magical concept, I know, but hey, that’s what I’m paid for.  <.<  Press it twice, and hey presto, I’m into the menu where I want to be, and the options I want are bending to my commands.  Turn them both on, and turn on a movie to see what it looks like.

Which is how I ended up sitting on my floor at 1:30 AM this morning, being totally entranced by Robert Rodriquez’s Planet Terror.  Which looks great in progressive widescreen, I have to say.  The grain on the film is sharp, the lines are clear, the effects are spectacular.  But man, what an awful movie to experience clarity in.  I felt like I was going to throw up a couple times.  Which is great, in it’s own way, ‘cause that’s what he meant it to do... but wow, I hope I never have to watch that movie in HD again.  So much gross.

But yea, after fixing it, I just sat there basking in my own awesome for a bit.  I know that I’ll enjoy this breakthrough in days to come, and it makes me feel good to know that I got there myself, even though it was just a little thing.  And just like figuring out anything else in your own life, no matter how trivial, “having it figured out” feels awesome.

Blah, blah, blah...

So, don’t really have too-too much to talk about, but here I am once again, bored at work, and I might as well do something at least semi-productive, so this post is probably gonna be a lot of random, with some life updates thrown in.

Recent news, Ed and I had our year-and-a-half mark last week.  I seriously cannot believe it’s been this long since we’ve been dating, and it still feels good and right.  Every time I think about the amount of time that we spend together, I’m just totally blown away.  I don’t do long-term relationships, generally.  I’m too independent to have someone attached to me for that long... but he gives me the space I need, and I never really feel like I’m smothering with him.  It’s pretty intense, I have to say.  And pretty cool.  18 months, woo-hoo!  That’s like 4 years in straight terms, for those of you that are unaware.

Speaking of time, just had my 3-month review at Shaw, and I’m not fired, so that’s pretty cool.  Totally psyched me out, though, because I swear I was the last person in my training class to be reviewed, and being last is soooo much worse than being first.  And, worse than that, when they handed me my review sheet, the first numbers I saw were 3 and 2.5.  I just about fled the premises, and then they told me that scoring was out of 3, not out of 10.  Whew.  That was kinda scary.  So I’m actually doing pretty well here, and that’s good to know, because let’s face it, although the environment isn’t as... fun as CWay, the paycheck is almost certainly worth it.

Also looking at time, I’ve been having really weird dreams lately, of people from my past.  Running into them in random places, and a number of different scenarios.  Sometimes we’re ecstatic, and it’s just a big hug-n-happy fest.  Other times it’s awkward and weird.  Sometimes, they’re avoiding me, sometimes they’re trying to find me.  Different people, different situations, every time.  Sometimes the same people, opposite situations, too, which is weird.  I’m not sure if these dreams mean anything... maybe that I should reach out to some of these people.  Y’know, touch base, link up, whatever, but check out what’s going on in their lives.  Maybe they need me... dun-dun-dun!

In terms of dun-dun-dun, I checked out Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog yesterday, which is fantastic.  Joss Whedon, who is by far one of the best writers Hollywood has ever seen, has put together a 45-minute mini-musical masterpiece.  Joss, if you may remember, is the creator and head writer for Buffy the Vampire Slayers, which was one of the most well-crafted shows, in terms of dialogue, that has ever been on prime-time.  Unknown to most people, he also wrote all the lyrics for the Buffy musical episode, “Once More, With Feeling...”, which was amazing.

During the Hollywood Writer’s Strike, which I’m sure everyone who watches TV remembers, Joss and his brothers decided that they wanted to prove it was possible to still make good, quality programming without the Writer’s Union.  So they crafted a 40-minute musical starring the ever-surprisingly-talented Neil Patrick Harris, about a “mad scientist” trying to simultaneously be accepted into the Evil League of Evil AND get the girl.  Seeing Neil Patrick Harris as a vindictive wannabe super-villain is totally worth the price of admission, which, incidentally, is free.  This was created as a free indie internet project, paid for exclusively by the Whedon brothers and all the actors volunteered their time and talents to the project.  Also, hearing him sing (and he’s surprisingly good) is a lot of fun, since NPH has never really taken himself too seriously.  But yea, fun movie, really good for an indie project, strong music, and an interesting premise make this a winner.  Plus, it has a really great Rocky-Horror-esque ending sequence.  Look for the spotlight; you’ll see what I mean.

In other news, saw my first 3D film a little while ago.  Went to go see ‘Coraline’ with Ed and Jon, and it was pretty friggin’ cool, I kid you not.  Haven’t seen a 3D movie before, so I was rather psyched about it, and I heard good things about it from Bill, a blogger that I follow pretty closely and respect a hell of a lot.  It was weird, because at first, the 3D thing was so noticeable and so crazy cool.  And every so often, they’d throw something in there that totally reminded you of the 3D, something that knocked your socks right off... but the weirdest thing about the 3D was how quickly you got used to it.  I guess you’re used to seeing everything in 3D in real life, so your eyes just kinda adjusted to having that extra dimension.  It’s kind of interesting, in a way.  If a child were to grow up with never seeing a TV show or movie, any kind of ‘moving picture’... would they be thrown off by 2D movement?  Hmmm...  But yea, Coraline, awesome.  Art direction, big thumbs up, totally reminds me of a Tim Burton flick, but it’s not.  Fun, though.

Also, sat down and watched Legally Blond: The Musical with Ed, Jonny, and Brandon last night.  Forgot how much I love that show, and how I shouldn’t watch musicals when I’m not doing anything even the least bit artsy in my life.  I know, this is what I really want to do, and it brings such a weird pang to think that I’ve been out of school for this long, and still haven’t done anything about it.  I so need to go back to school.  I keep saying that every year, and I just keep on working, surviving, and drifting through stuff.  It’s gonna be expensive, and stressful, and I’m not sure if I’ll really be able to handle it, honestly, but man, I owe it to myself to at least give it a shot.  It’s just such process... and do I really wanna pay the $200 to do another audition, get turned down again, and then decide not to do it the last minute again?  It’s a real back-and-forth kinda situation, where all parts of my mind are just spiraling.

On the subject of school, though, Ed’s almost done.  He has the spring left, and then he’s a fully licensed hair stylist.  I’m kinda jealous of him, the fact that he’s just doing it.  He has some advantages over my situation that make it easier for him, but it’s still weird watching the switch from full-time employee to full-time student.  It’s even weirder watching it, thinking that it might be me in time.  But it’ll be cool when he’s licensed.  Looks like he’s already got a job all lined up, so that’s cool, and it’s really awesome to see him doing something that he likes doing.  He complains, but who doesn’t complain about their job, right?  Even millionaires who don’t work complain; that’s human nature.

In any case, I think this is a fairly fair update size, so I’m gonna cut it off here.  Hope y’all are doing swell!  Love ya, and laters!

Kirk Sabre

Man, this has been a long time coming.

So, I finally went to an optometrist.  A real, honest-to-God professional glasses guy.  I haven’t been been to a fully licensed optometrist in... well, a long time.  I’d say over 5 years.  Maybe more.  Maybe even closed to 8 years.

I first got glasses in Grade 7, when my mom noticed that my brother and I couldn’t read the opening scroll during Star Wars.  My mom basically has perfect vision.  Like, better than 20/20, so it was weird that both my brother and I needed glasses for distance viewing.  But I was 13 years old (probably), so I went in and got my first pair of glasses.

For the first little while, I was really exited about them.  Took good care of them, kept them in their case, used the little cleaning cloth that I got with them.  After a while, though, I started liking them less and less.  Part of it was comfort.  It was a stupid trade-off with sunglasses, and I didn’t like having one more thing to fidget with.  And part of it, I’m sad to say, was vanity.  I like my eyes.  I have really nice eyes.  They’re just deep-set, and glasses make them even harder to notice.

So I switched to contacts, and was perfectly happy there for a few years.  It was fun, I felt great, and while they had some awkward annoyances, like falling asleep with them in, or forgetting I had them in when I went swimming or took a shower, it was still cool.

I got my prescription updated once, got new lenses put in my old frames, and have kept those ever since.  So my frames have been the same since Grade 7, the lenses since probably Grade 9.  Needless to say, my prescription has change a bit since then.

So I went to the optometrist.  Got to stick my face in all sorts of cool machines, got to be told that I’m near-sighted (I know), have mild astigmatism (I know), and that my eye pressure is slightly higher than it should be, but not at Glaucoma level as of yet.  And I need to get new glasses.  New frames, new lenses, whole nine yards.

Ed and I have probably spent a total of 90 minutes looking for glasses for me.  I’m so used to not wearing anything for my eyes, and worse, I’m more used to contacts than glasses.  Beyond that, I have zero fashion sense, but I’m still picky as fuck.  Found two pairs that I really like, but I think I gave my eyes a strain looking at the prices.

Let me say this: prices for glasses are fucking RIDICULOUS!  Two pairs that I really liked both were very minimal.  I have minimal style.  I like minimal.  I have very big features, so loud stuff tends to just overdo everything.  So I pick up two frames with almost no metal in them.  If I melted down both the frames into molten metal, mixed them, and then formed them into a cube, it would probably be half-an-inch square.  And combined, these two frames cost $575.

What.  The.  Fuck.

Now, before I actually talk about the frames themselves, lemme say something about the glasses.  These are from LensCrafters.  They’re like, the Wal-Mart of glasses.  The cheapest glasses I saw in there were plastic, looking like they should be attached to a fake nose and a mustache, and the price tag was still $200 bucks.

Like, where is the craftsmanship?  What have they done to be allowed to charge these outrageous prices for not a lot of work or materials?  I highly doubt that Oakely is just three guys with soldering irons.  It’s a huge company, manufacturing thousands of these things a day, with machines doing most of the work.  If I’m paying $300 for a pair of frames, I want them to dim when it’s bright out, lighten when it’s dark, have a built in flash-light, night-vision, infra-red, LCD screens, a HUD, and a freaking soda fountain.  You can get an iPod for less than $300 bucks, and it does a hell of a lot more than hold some glass in place.

Ridiculous.  In any case, found two frames that I kinda like, both very minimal, but either one’s gonna cost me nigh-on $400+.  Luckily, work will cover $200 of that, which means that I should jump all over it immediately.  But wow, I’m still amazed.  And Ed went in for an optometrist appointment at the same time I did, and guess what, he has perfect eyesight.  Jerk-face.

I might be persuaded to go back to contacts, but again, I think I’ll need to try out that route and see how it worked.  The last few times I tried to go back to them, the result wasn’t really pretty.  A lot of pain and irritation.  And if I’m gonna throw down $100 on contacts every few months, do I really need a pair of $400 glasses?

Apparently, yes, ‘cause I’m not gonna get them for any cheaper.  And let’s face it, I’m not gonna put in my contacts every time I wanna watch a movie or something.  It’s 7AM, I can’t sleep, and I wanna play a video game, I’m not gonna stumble into the bathroom, attempt to pry my eyes open so I can slot plastic into it for a gaming session that will last until I fall asleep... and then have to deal with sticky contacts when I wake up.  <.<

Ah well, it’s the price we pay for... having vision, I guess.

I’m becoming a Starbucks addict.

This isn’t a good thing, either for my wallet or my health.  I knew I was in trouble as soon as I heard they were putting a Starbucks in the lobby of the Shaw Tower.  It’s a great idea, marketing-wise, for the Big Bucks, as there are probably 1400+ people employed at the Tower, not to mention there’s also a DayCare on one of the floors, and a Shaw Retail location on the ground floor (where the Starbucks is).  That’s a *lot* of foot traffic, and a huge potential customer base.  Another big boost is the fact that the majority of the employees here aren’t working 9-5.  It’s shift work, scattered throughout the day, so it means that it’s a constant flow of customers, as opposed to huge line-ups at 8:30, 12:00, and 5:00, so less headache and crazy-rush for the Stars of the Bucks.

Why is the Starbucks addiction distressing to me?  I spent almost a year as a Tim Horton’s addict, totally unable to start a day at CWay without some coffee in my system.  Let me state here, I’m not a *huge* coffee drinker.  I’ll nurse a cup for a good couple hours; a lot longer then I’ll nurse a beer.  I don’t really drink it for the caffeine; I drink it out of joy.  (Please note that I just properly used two semi-colons in two different sentences.  I *never* get to use those things!) I’m the only real coffee drinker in my family, and I just enjoy the smell and taste of a cup of coffee.

With Tim Horton’s, it’s not a *huge* deal if I’m spending a buck-fifty a day on a cup of coffee.  I mean, that’s reasonable.  Even in the 80’s, man.  The expression, “Yea, that and a buck fifty will get you a cup of coffee,” in response to someone’s floundering ideology.  I know, it adds up to a ridiculously large sum in the long run, but it’s easy to think away a dollar and a half.

Right now, though, I’m looking at 3-5 bucks... for tea.  Well, specifically, a tea latte.  Starbucks finally started carrying Rooibos tea, a South African treat that I was introduced to a *long* time ago, through my uncle, who worked in South Africa for many years.  And it’s delicious stuff, I’m not gonna lie.  It’s the sweetest tea I’ve ever had, tangy and fruity, but unlike anything else you’ve ever had.  Also, it’s *crazy* good for you.  Has all those anti-oxidant things and other good stuff, and since it kinda hit the mainstream a couple years ago, health experts have been lauding it as the best thing since sliced bread.

But I digress... Regardless of how good it is, I’m paying an awful lot of money for plant leaves in hot water with steamed milk.  But it’s so good, that I’m justifying it.  With any luck, this’ll be like my other “specialty coffee” obsessions, and after gorging myself on it for a while, I’ll taper off and it’ll become a treat.

But I’m worried about the whole addiction thing.  I’m not sure if I have an ‘addictive personality’, or if I just pick up habits.  Maybe it’s the same thing, maybe not.  I’m a smoker, as most of my friends know, and I’m working on quitting, but I have to admit, I’m not working very hard.  There’s something soothing about having a routine to slip into, and I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the nicotine or not.  I think it’s just the regularity of getting outside, getting some fresh air (debate that around the smoking thing by yourself, would you?), walking around, listening to my iPod.  A short little break from reality.

The worst part, of course, is that I picked up smoking to become addicted to something.  I know, that’s sad.  But I was 18, had drank once, never smoked, never done drugs, all that stuff, and I figured I just needed to grow up.  I’m not a big fan of booze, don’t like feeling that out of it, so I found an un-opened pack of DuMorier one day, and just decided to pick up smoking.  5 months before my 19th birthday, I finally did my first underage... whatever.

I figured it would be an interesting challenge to see if my willpower could overcome the body’s natural pull of addiction.  It didn’t.  5 years later, I’m still smoking.  It was funny, ‘cause I figured that out of the all the options out there, smoking was the one that fit the most with... me, I guess.  And my friends agreed.  I’m much more of a “sit-out-on-the-patio-for-a-smoke” kinda guy than a “get-drunk-and-trash-the-house” kinda guy.  That’s my brother.  People drink to get wild, and smoke to chill out, and I’m definitely a chill-out kinda guy.

In fact, you could say that I’m addicted to chilling out, if we’re factoring in the whole smoking thing properly.  I’m trying (not very successfully) to quit smoking, and I’m almost ready to explore some alternate avenues (like the patch n’ stuff).  But I’ll look into that after I actually fully throw all my willpower into quitting.  I think part of the reason it’s so hard is that I really don’t want to quit, and I suppose that’s what most smokers feel like.  But we’re moving on down, and we’ll see where we go from here, I guess.

Well, let’s cross our fingers, and see how it goes, I guess.

Well, another game review.  You can tell I’m running out of original content in my head.  I think I get most of my ideas and what-not out on Edward, and then they’re out of my head, so I can’t write them down.

( What I can do, though, is rave about the experiences I’ve had with my lovely toys. =p )

So, I’m actually surprised that I’m not making this post from my phone...

I picked up a Blackberry the other day.  They’re gorgeous little beasts, and the techno-geek in me has always wanted one, but to be honest, it was more for the cool than the functionality.  So, since my current cellphone is completely at the end of it’s life-cycle (with an amazing 8 minutes of talk-time on a full battery charge), I decided to bite the (money) bullet, and throw down for a Curve.  Managed to get a pretty sweet deal out of it, and I still have several days to decide whether or not I want to keep it.

I am *amazed* at how quickly it’s integrated itself into my life.

I’ve had this thing not even a full 48 hours yet, and I’m already on it pretty constantly.  I’m sure, like all new technology, the novelty will wear off in time, and I’ll go back to ignoring my phone, like I usually do.  But man, the possibilities are crazy.

When you think about it, a cellphone is just that.  A phone.  A tool for communication, nothing more.  And to be perfectly honest, I’m a bit of a loner.  Not really big on the whole ‘communication’ thing.  Any of my friends can verify this, and it’s kinda a standing point with me.  As horrible as it seems, I really am a ‘leave a message’ kinda guy.  E-mail, MSN, phone, text messaging... I’ll get back to you.  Eventually.  When I feel like it.

But man, this Blackberry thing is intense.  It’s *all* my contact-capable formats in one little package.  If someone MSNs, call, e-mails, or TXT’s me, it comes straight to me, wherever I am.  I’m sure that in the near future, I will begin to find this incredibly annoying, but for right now, it’s good to know that I won’t miss any important info just because I haven’t hopped on Facebook in a while.

Also, the browser functionality of it has me won over.  Internet on the go is a big thing, and having technology and gaming news delivered right to my phone, at no cost, is pretty sweet.  Also-also, despite the fact that it’s a tiny screen, it has a full keyboard (*major* selling point for me), and has Microsoft Word support, so I can write, type, or hack away at whatever I want, whenever I want.

I originally wanted two things out of the phone, when I was looking at changing it.  More than 8 minutes of talk-time, and reception in my basement-suite, as well as on-the-go.  Pretty basic needs, for a cellphone.  And I get both of them in this guy, along with all these other cool functions.

The funny thing is, though, I can see how people could get addicted to them.  And how others could find them annoying.  Within day one, Ed was already grumbling when I pulled it out to text someone, ‘cause it was happening so often.  And I get attached to my toys, I know.  Who doesn’t, right?  But I think that’s human nature when it comes to upgrading.  We can ‘make do’ for *so* long without ever feeling the desire to upgrade... and then as soon as you do, it’s impossible to go back.  Ask anyone who’s been on high-speed if they could go back to dial-up internet.  Or anyone who uses a computer if they could go back to a 486.

I’ve long stood by the Eddie Izzard quote that there are two kinds of people; those with techno-fear, and those with techno-joy.  And, as an addendum, most people have techno-joy until something goes wrong, and then it turns into techno-fear.  I think my techno-joy only grows when something goes wrong.

In any case, I still have a few days to decide if I want to dump this phone or not, but my gut instinct is that I’ll be keeping it.  The only other thing I need to do is to transfer my old number back to this phone.  Dammit.

In any case, I’m now reachable 24/7, through a multitude of mediums.  It’s kinda a cool feeling.

Well, I figured that since I did the first one, I might as well complete the trilogy.  This series actually holds the record for highest average score in a trilogy of video games, and since the first one was pretty good, I figured I’d dive in and try to complete the series.

In immediate impressions, kinda meh towards it, honestly.  ( Details after the jump. )

I’m growing so out-of-touch with all the Court stuff.

On one hand, it’s understandable.  I’ve been involved, to varying degrees, with the ICS for the past 5 years.  I started really getting into it just prior to Coronation 2, when Robert and Rose stepped up as Emperor and Empress.  I was there to see them through their campaign to be elected, to support them along the way, and to be by their side through the reign.  As of Reign 3, when Scott and Onya claimed the crowns, they appointed me Youth Prince 3 of Surrey, and again, I was with them for the whole reign.  But man, after two years of non-stop events, co-ordinating, fundraising, and endless spools of drama, I finally got sick of it.

For those two reigns, I sat on the Board of Directors as the Youth Alliance Representative, which was basically the reason I got involved with the whole thing in the first place.  And it really was endless drama.  Every meeting (only once a month, if you think about it) there was just more and more |stuff| to shovel, new backbiting, new rumors, and new dour down-talking from other E&E’s in other Courts.

My escape, really, was traveling as a title-holder, which allowed me to go places and do things that I normally wouldn’t get the opportunity to do, and I wouldn’t trade those experiences in for the world.  I traveled to Vegas and California, to Washington and Vancouver, PR’ing and smoke-blowing the whole way.  And, no lie, I had a great time doing all of it.  It was a really great experience to be just *so* involved with everything, to have the whole world spinning around, and working hard to make sure everything was done right.  It was an honor, and a pleasure, to do my year of service... but at the end of it, I was *done*.

I spent the next year on the sidelines, doing nothing (or very little), not as a withdrawal of support, but in order to gain some scope and perspective and see what the organization looked like when you weren’t knee-deep in |stuff|.  It was a good experience, and it felt really good to have no responsibility for a while.  I wasn’t expected to do anything, to be anyone, to present myself in a specific way or act in a certain manner.  And it was time for me to do that, as well, as that was right when Brian left CWay, which means that I had a whole heap of new responsibilities n’ stuff to adjust to.  Also, I started dating Edward, which was another big step.  I basically took the time I needed, in order to make sure I didn’t kill myself and/or other people.

And now, thanks to Edward, I’m kinda slowly being dragged back in... by drag queens, no less.  Since Ed started doing drag, and since Frankie continues to rock it, I’ve been going to more and more shows, helping with sound and organizing again.  It’s kinda a weird feeling, being a sidekick instead of a star, and I’m okay with that, too.  I mean, that’s what I did for musical theatre, right?  Tried all the aspects, big characters, small characters, managing, directing, sound, lighting, the works.  And I enjoyed all of them.  But man, I forgot how draining it is sometimes, even when you’re not doing anything.

I think it’s just the obligation of the whole thing.  I’ve never liked obligation, in any sense, and getting a title again just fills you with a sense of it.  Like, now all this stuff is expected of me.  I’m glad it’s a low title, just something for Ed to get his toes wet, so to speak, ‘cause that boy is *not* used to doing drag yet.  Even doing it twice a month is pushing it for him.  He’s a good performer, for a drag queen, and he must have fun doing it on some level, otherwise he wouldn’t keep doing it.  Either that or he likes the attention.  Whichever.

But the last couple weeks have been full of court stuff, and there’s one more show coming up, this weekend or next, I can’t remember.  In any case, it’ll be nice to take a little breather.  Although Ed and I still have to figure out what we’re doing for the upcoming show.  <.<

Time to go break some legs (in a theatrical sense).

Oh my god, I can’t think of anything to write!  My ability to write is gone!

Just kidding.  Although, how ironic would that be, after the other day’s post?

Anyways, I actually didn’t have a topic picked out, and I slept my way to work today, so didn’t really think about anything.  So, you know what that means... time for another game review!

As I said in a previous post, I finally have an XBox(360), and I figure it would pretty much be a crime for me to *not* pick up THE REASON to own an XBox.  And after all the Game of the Year hubbub that every entry into this series has created, I figure I probably owe it to myself to play it seriously at least once.

( So yea, I finally sat down, played, and beat Halo 1. )

It’s kinda weird, watching my stuff fly out.  Yesterday, I posted about a couple Mixes I had thrown down the last couple of months.  Talked about them, the creative process involved, and basically just gave them their own little story, as well as encouraging downloading and feedback of them.  The day before, I sent off a message on Facebook to some 40-ish friends, with a link to download, and more pleading for feedback.

Yesterday was pretty normal.  Went to work, had an okay day, went to hang out with Ed for a while, and had him drop me off at home around 8:00.  When I got home, I cruised around for a bit, talked to my roommate, and checked my e-mail.  In my inbox were 8 or 9 responses from people I sent the message to, saying that they would try to grab it, or would be happy to grab it.

At this point, I noticed there was someone on my FTP.  A Burnaby IP address, grabbing the self-same mixes that I had posted about.  And that kinda made me feel good, that someone had actually grabbed it.  And then I looked at my log.

Holy.  Crap.  In 24 hours, I had 26 unique visitors.  26 people had signed on to my FTP, and grabbed the mixes.  I thought about scanning the IP’s, seeing if I could pinpoint who and what and where, but I decided against it.  But man, it felt kinda scary.  I’m so critical of myself, and the idea that 26 people now have something that I... crafted... is kinda exciting.  Especially something that I crafted that’s not, for lack of a better word, perfect.  As ridiculous as it may sound, it kinda feels like I’m flouting my flaws.  I rarely let people see my rough edges, much preferring to have them gaze at the cold steel of my composed character, rather than have them see the molten insides.

Strangely, with ‘Still Climbing’, I did something else I hadn’t done before.  I made a rough cut, about a week before I started the final copy.  I know, in school we’re *always* taught to do a rough draft before we submit a finished piece.  But that’s not really my style.  My rough draft *is* my final copy, tweaked and evolved.  Especially in my writing, whatever comes from my head goes to the page, and pretty much stays there.  I’m not big on editing, and if a sentence or statement isn’t working for me, I’ll change it as soon as it hits the paper.  Because if it doesn’t sound right *immediately*, then something’s not right.

Anyways, tangent.  I made a rough cut of ‘Still Climbing’, in two parts.  I let Ed listen to them, let Robert listen to a bit of it, got some feedback, and took that back to the decks with me.  And having someone listen to the rough cuts was *terrifying*.  Every time something was wrong (and a lot was, let me assure you), I just wanted to hide.  The mistakes are always more glaring than the good, that’s a part of human nature.  While we search for harmony in life, the most obvious things to us is always the Discordia.  Every time a beat didn’t match properly, or a mix came too soon, if levels were off and overpowering, or just the wrong songs were trying to match, I just wanted to scream “I’M BETTER THAN THIS!”  But he knows that, and he understands, so...  And he let me listen to my mistakes enough times to know how to correct them, so I guess there’s no greater feedback than that.

The finished product is actually quite different than the rough cuts, when I listen to them.  Obviously, everything’s cleaner, the mixes are better, the volumes are correct, the whole thing flows better... but a lot of that’s about content placement, as well.  For example, in the rough cuts, I didn’t even use ‘Delirious’ (which I’m so happy I did, ‘cause it’s a really fun song), and ‘With Every Heartbeat’ was right at the end of the mix.  There’s another song at the end which didn’t make it to final cut... didn’t jive with the motif of the mix, kinda threw it out of feng shui.

Anyways, feedback.  Criticism.  That’s where this post was originally going.  Man, it’s scary stuff.  Every time I post anything online, I check compulsively for feedback or constructive criticism.  From way back when I was still doing the fan-fiction scene, if I posted something, I would be attached to it for days, ravenously tearing through every ‘Re:’ that came through my inbox.  Even my drawings, putting them in my portfolio, or some of the photoshop stuff I’ve done.  My writing, my mixing, even the friggin’ menus I create for DVD’s.  I enjoy looking over stuff that I created, especially if I think I did a good job (and hell, I wouldn’t produce it if I didn’t think I did a good job).  But I get way more excited when someone *else* gets excited over my work.  But I think that rings true for any artist.

Watching IP addresses hop onto my FTP and download my stuff was like, the scariest thing that’s happened to me in a while.  I wasn’t shaking, but I was trembling a little bit.  It felt like I was just opening myself up, sending myself before a jury to be judged.  Not something I do very often.  But then again, I do it a little bit every time I post anything, so maybe it won’t be so bad.

The thing about most creative stuff, and especially mixing, is the feeling that it *has* to be perfect, ‘cause I’ll never get another chance to re-create it.  Try as hard as I may, I will *never* be able to make it exactly the same.  I guess it’s that way with anything that’s “live”; it’s gonna be just a little bit different every time I do it.  With mixing, especially, because there are so many minute things to take into effect.  BPM, volume levels, timing of cross-fading, bass, treble, looping, and even the gain, not to mention jogging (the minute speeding up or slowing down of a song to make sure it syncs perfectly).  If I threw down the same mix, 10 times in a row, the last 3 might sound vaguely similar, but other than that, they’d all be noticeably different.  Because spinning, like so much other art, is all about being in the mood, in the place, feeling the music, and letting it decide what your next step is.

I’ve never been a big artist, but every so often I’ll draw something that’s pretty good (usually with a source close-by, almost never free-hand).  And try as I may, I can never re-create anything like that.  Most of my drawings are up on my (totally out-dated) website, at http://www.geocities.com/second_sabre/dindex.html.   And try as I may, I’ve never been able to re-create any of them.  Most were drawn with a source, some were freehand, but I’ll be damned if I can get that again.  I wonder if all artists feel like that.  My best friend (and her mom) are both amazing artists, and I wonder if they ever get that feeling, where it’s like you’ve hit your creative peak, and that anything you produce after this will be crap.  What do you do after that?  Do you push on, despite the inevitable feeling that anything you push out after that last final exertion will be a shadow of the previous effort, or do you sit back, admire your work, and wait for the next flash of inspiration to clout you upside the head?  Is it better to exercise your talent like a muscle, working it out even after it hurts, or just let it come and go like a waking dream?  And, worst of all, are you scared that it won’t come back?

I think that’s my biggest fear, being scared that it won’t come back.  Before I lived in Kamloops, all I could draw were demented stick figure.  While I was there, I was seized by inspiration, and all of a sudden, I produced some really good (by my standards) drawings, and for a little while, I was actually drawing okay on a fairly regular basis, for about 6 months.  And then, all of a sudden, it stopped.  I haven’t been able to draw since then.  I’ll doodle, occasionally, and some of the tricks I learned when I was drawing still come out to play, but it’s mostly all the same.  Same face, same pose, same smile, same eyes.  There’s no more creativity, and all I can do is attempt to copy my former “talent”.  Even if I have a source, it just feels like I’ve lost that eye, that control of my hand, the ability to transfer an image onto paper from what I see in my mind.

And it’s scary, to be able to do something, and then suddenly to just not be able to anymore.  It kinda feels like being crippled, in a way, when you’re used to something that comes naturally to you, that requires zero effort, and all of a sudden it becomes a sweat-inducing chore just to create a shadow.  Any of the rest of you experience anything like that?  Just a complete loss of creative ability?  Or the fear that you can never get it back, once you start?

Anyways, this post is a monster now, so I’m gonna cut it off here.  I decided I’m gonna try and do a post a day, and man, I didn’t think I had this much to talk about... <.< But oh well.  We’ll catch y’all tomorrow.

I love music.  Anyone who knows me will tell you the same thing.  Music is, basically, my life.  It’s been with me through some of the darkest times, and some of the brightest.  Through sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer... I think I might actually have legally married music quite some time ago.  And that’s because I love it.

Also, I’ve always loved electronic music.  I remember listing to the Dance Mix tapes (that’s right, cassette tapes) way back in the day.  I was like, 8 years old, and I was groovin’ to 2Unlimited and Technotronic, back when electronic music was still in it’s fledgling years.  And the best part, I shit you not, about those tapes, was the mix.  That incredible crossfade-cum-beatmatch that defines electronic music the way it’s supposed to be.  Flowing, sweeping, never-ending, and always moving onto the next best thing.

I’ve always had dreams of mixing (DJ’ing, to the un-informed) music, seeing what kind of songs stream together, and letting me make a musical imprint on tracks that I, personally, think are stellar.  In the last year or so, I’ve finally begun to live that dream.  After meeting my friend Travis at ChampionsWay (the company I used to work for, if anyone cares), I found out that he was, for lack of a better expression, a DJ.  And then I found out that, like, 6 other people at the company were DJ’s.  And that apparently, DJ’s are a dime-a-dozen.  Which did not, in any way, make me want to try to be one any less.

So with some pointers from Travis, and a pirated copy of Traktor under my arms, I built my first mix.  Actually, that’s a lie.  My first mix was playing with a copy of Virtual DJ at Brandon’s house, on a whim.  And it turned out pretty well.  I built another one after that, using the same program, and it turned out okay, too.  But the program had some limitations I didn’t like, the least of which was the fact that it tried to do everything for me.  While I appreciate a computer trying to take care of some of the finer touches (after all, that’s what computers are for, right?), I don’t like it when they try and take all the art out of something like mixing or music, especially when I’ve been learning by watching people do *everything* the long way on vinyl.

Virtual DJ is a cool-looking little tool, and it’s beat-matching capabilities are actually really solid.  If you tell it to sync the songs, it will sync the damn songs, and they will *not* run over each other.  The only problem with that is that it’s actual BPM counter is a little sketchy, and sometimes it just doesn’t actually find the right beat.  It’ll mark your 4 beats just shy, or just over, where the bass kick actually is, which means that when you press ‘SYNC’, they *always* run over.  You now have two songs which are eternally out-of-sync, creating that horrible shoes-in-a-dryer beat (Travis’ quote, not mine).  You know that sound, that “thump… thump-thump… thumpthumpthumpthump… thump… thum-thump”.  It’s discordant as all fuck, and will ruin your potential career as a DJ in seconds.

In any case, yea.  Virtual DJ doesn’t let you program your own BPM, doesn’t let you fine-tune your song (speeding up or slowing down to match the current one), doesn’t let you do pre-amp listening (the ability to hear what’s playing on the second deck, while your first deck is still going through the speakers), and when you adjust volume, it creates a weird crackling noise.  So, although VDJ and I had a fling, I knew it wouldn’t last long.

Traktor, by Native Instruments (who make *amazing* music software, by the way), was the DJ program that originally caught my eye, and after playing around with some of the Pro-Level tools (Ableton Live,  Sony Vegas, etc), I eventually defaulted back to Traktor, and decided to learn how to use it.  It’s a much closer approximation to spinning with turntables then any other software I’ve used.  It’s also a pretty powerful little program, and it does all the little things that I need it to do, like teaching it the BPM of a song, or letting me listen to tracks Pre-Amp.

I played around with it for a couple days, before deciding that I was gonna do it.  I was finally gonna make a mix, and subject myself to the musical criticism of my peers (or, elders and betters, as they like to call themselves).  I threw down a 75-minute progressive house extravaganza, mixed it all live, and enjoyed every fuckin’ second of it.  And I was so. Effing. Proud.  As a lifetime underachiever, and a non-competitive, procrastinating elitist, whenever I finally get around to producing something (be it writing, drawing, or music) that manages to pass my stupidly high standards for myself, I get pretty psyched, not gonna lie.  Even at my level, as a total amateur, I expected myself to mix live for 80 minutes, and *not* fuck-up.

Well, I did.  Fuck up, I mean.  A little bit here and there.  But it’s okay, as Edward kept telling me.  I’m still new, I’m learning, and I’m allowed to make mistakes.  And overall, it’s actually pretty good.  So I kept it.  Decided to call it ‘The Learning Curve’, to exemplify exactly what it is and was to me.  Distributed it to a choice few people who liked electronic music, but weren’t really into the technical aspects of mixing, to get some “average people” opinions.  The response was very positive, and I felt a great deal better about it afterwards.  I’m still too much of a chicken shit to send it to people like Josh or Travis, people who actually spin, but I’m trying to get it out to more people, and see what the response is.  With any luck, I’ll get some public approval to go with the critical panning.  *grins*

A few highlights of ‘The Learning Curve’ include a great electro remix of Basement Jaxx’s “Where’s Your Head At?”, a wonderful progressive mix of Sarah McLachlan’s “Silence”, Deadmau5’s incredible remix of Morgan Paige’s “The Longest Road”, and Moussa Clarke’s outstanding remix of “Duduk”.

In any case, I’ve been working on a new one for the last little while.  Where ‘The Learning Curve’ is all very progressive-house/trance, very instrumental, and very long and flowing, and runs about 124-128 BPM, this new one was a total switch.  It’s more the genres that my friends, like Edward and Brandon are into.  It’s cheesy Euro-house, it’s vocal, it’s electro, it’s pounding bass-lines, and fuzzy, body-shaking buzzing.  It’s Diva-ish, it’s fun, and the whole thing cruises along at a breakneck 133~ BPM.  This is the kind of mix that you take Ecstasy for.  Again, it has a few rough spots, a couple things that I’m not super-happy with, but again, mixed live, by an amateur, so I have to cut myself some slack.  I’m calling it ‘Still Climbing’, again to show that I’m still trying to get there.

I also tried some new things with ‘Still Climbing’, like mixing with 3 decks simultaneously, and building a couple custom remixes.  Highlights of ‘Still Climbing’ include two mash-up remixes that I did: one is Natasja’s “Calabria” (The Destination Gaudino Mix), and one is a mash-up mix of Eric Prydz’ “Pjanoo” against “Watchin’” by Freemasons.  Also, a mind-blowing mix of Robyn’s “With Every Heartbeat” (a track which has caused me to dance around my room like I’m having a seizure, with witnesses), a killer track by Global Deejay’s, featuring Technotronic (doesn’t that bring back memories?), and a cool electro thumpa-thumpa mix of “Ride Like The Wind” by Michael Mind, originally by Christopher Cross (the one and only).

For anyone who’s into electronic music, please download and gimme some feedback.  I’m more focused on the technical aspects, like beatmatching and flow, but really, I’m happy with pretty much everything.  The only thing better than you telling yourself “Good Job” is getting it affirmed by someone else.

Hit me up for download links.

So, now that I have my shiny new 360 (modded, of course), I have a whole new slew of games to play and review.  Again, I’m trying to get more writing done, so here goes a mini-review of my latest obsession. Also, since I’m working night shifts lately, I’m actually getting some gaming in here and there, so this is based off of more than a couple hours of run-through.

( Assassin’s Creed (Xbox 360) )

Wow.  I don’t think I’ve felt this good about spending this much money since… who am I kidding?  I have the memory of a light-bug.  I don’t remember the last time I felt this good about spending this much money.

Let me put some back-story on this, first.  I’ve been living in the same place for the last 4+ years with my roommate.  It’s a basement suite in a *really* nice area of Surrey, and it’s actually a *really* nice basement suite.  Two bedroom, heated floors, nice size, and dirt cheap.  All of the above = instant win for kids just moving down here.  So we moved in September of ‘03, and we’ve been there ever since.

When we moved in, we bought the necessary home essentials.  Y’know, enough stuff to keep us going.  Pots, pans, kitchen utensils, linens, bathroom necessities, etc.  Most of our furniture came with us, in one way or another.  And, speaking plainly, it’s a total mish-mash.  We’ve never had a motif in mind, merely try and make the place livable.  But by the same token, livable is never the same as homey.

Everyone dreams of owning a house.  Having a place to call your own, having a place that screams *YOU* from the ground up.  The lucky people build it, deciding on each individual thing as they painstakingly wait the 2 years for their dream-home to be complete.  Far more people hunt.  They search, and search, and search, looking for that one elusive place where the Real Estate agent opens the door, and they immediately feel like home.  Even more people get discouraged, and go with something that doesn’t feel perfect, and they settle for “good enough”, knowing that if they add enough of their personal touches, they can complete the illusion and make it perfect.  And the majority of people, myself included, search for a little while, take the pick of the lot, and settle.  Put up, or shut up.  And I’m a pretty easy-going guy.  So I shut up, and I’ll honestly take whatever I can find, as long as it has electricity, a roof that doesn’t leak, and a heater somewhere in the house.

Re-iterating, I (that is, we, myself and my roommate) was very fortunate to find the place that I’m currently living in, and I really do like it.  Little stuff bugs me, and other little stuff drives my roommate *up the wall*, but we settle, and we put up and shut up (for the most part).  But every time I start making money, I have the little dream in the back of my head that I’m gonna re-decorate the whole place, and start crafting that illusion.  Y’know, when I get around to it.

Another thing that factors in here is that I’m not competitive.  Extremely non-competitive.  In fact, if there was a competition for being non-competitive, I’d probably even lose that.  As a result, I don’t have a lot of “keeping up with the Jones” to put up with.  Most of my stuff is due to my own desires and wants, and very rarely do people influence me.  And as a result, when my home seems downright dowdy in comparison to some of my friends, I don’t really care.  Y’know, I don’t let them come over or anything, but… =p

But a few months ago, Edward and I were at Ikea, looking for shelves.  I moved down here with a metal (tin?) shelving unit, something obviously more suited to a garage than a bedroom.  And I’ve been running out of room on it since before I moved here.  In Ikea, we found a few units that I liked, but it was a money thing, and I was just there to window-shop.  So we moved out of bedroom storage and into living room storage.  And there I found what was basically the entertainment unit of my dreams.  Lots of storage, shelving, room for the TV, consoles, whole nine yards.  4 days later (and some 12 hours of putting the damn thing together, including modifying the shelving to make it taller, which I don’t mind, ‘cause that’s half the fun of Ikea), it was done, and it looks great.

A couple weeks later, we went back, as one of the shelving units I was looking at caught Edward’s eye.  Again, grabbed it, took it home, put it together.  And his room looked great.  So I got the same one (a littler bigger, ‘cause I have less storage space in other parts of my room than he does), and again, put it together.

And man, that was the kicker.  Putting that shelving unit in made me move my room around, switching placements of *everything* else.  When that was all done, I realized that the room was still so plain.  No posters, no wallpaper, nothing that made it mine.  So I spent a day decorating my room.  Putting pictures, t-shirts, posters, drawings, awards, everything I could.  At the end of it, after four years, my room looked like I lived there, not just like I was borrowing space.  And it was a good feeling.

I unleashed a monster.  Spent almost $400 this weekend on more household stuff, mostly decorative/practical, for my bathroom and bedroom.  New rack system for the bathroom, shower curtains, a duvet/pillow set and cover for my bed, lots of little knick-knack stuff.  And still it’s a really good feeling.  As someone who spent a good chunk of his teen years ‘renting space’ in foster care, I guess it’s good that I finally learned that home really can be wherever you make it.  All it takes is your mark, and, funnily enough, that doesn’t cost anything at all.